It’s week three of The Record’s beard contest, and my plans to regularly post video blogs has been foiled by deadlines and short weeks due to holidays. I do have a special video blog planned that I hope to have up by the end of the week. I’ve also continued to shoot video daily for the stop-motion video I plan to post when the contest has ended.

Meanwhile, ianhillmedia is happy to present a post by its first-ever guest blogger: Record Editor Mike Klocke. Here are Mike’s beard contest rankings; they’re sort of like the ESPN/USA Today coaches’ poll rankings, only better.

1. Zachary Johnson (county reporter): Came out of the blocks and quickly made up the stagger in a typical unassuming manner. If he holds on to his current lead, expect this as his victory speech: “Thank you. Should I shave now?”

2. Alex Breitler (environment and Delta College reporter): Just a whisker – ha, ha – behind the Z Man but (over) confidently still thinks he’s ahead. If Alex does rally to win the Jagdip Dhillon Hella-Beard Trophy, it’ll be interesting to see if he survives the Troy Glaus-inspired testing for HBGH – Human Beard Growth Hormone.

3. Marty Greenstein (sports copy editor): He’s a night shifter so he’s been flying under the radar. But he’s a contender and could surprise other entries with the use of a Syracuse-inspired zone-beard growing strategy. Such a tactic has kept him out of recent tournaments (think Jim Boeheim), but could put him in the Final Four this year.

4. Ian Hill (online): The contest is not tailored for Ian because he’s more of a marathon beard grower (think long term) instead of a sprinter. Plus, he’s still trying to recover from being carded at Chuck E Cheese after shaving his beard to start the contest.

5. Kirk Barron (online): The young ‘un is giving it a game effort and doesn’t seem to be tied down to old-school thoughts on beard growing. There’s a bit of uneven growth, likely caused by the video camera constantly being pressed against one side of his face. But if the competition gets too much credit, expect Kirk to document evidence on video (think Edison High field goal) to prove this beard referee wrong.

6. Daniel Thigpen (Lodi reporter): Here’s the deal: Daniel would be right in contention, but he’s not going to be moved up in these rankings – regardless. The reason: he’s a Tar Heel and Hansborough, Lawson and all of those other guys should have turned pro after their junior years. If they had, Sparty would have a third national championship, Klocke would be much happier and Thigpen would know his beard-growing efforts are not in vain.

7. Roger Phillips (education reporter): Ol’ Roger gave it about three days and then pulled out the Gillette Atra. God, even Roberto Duran lasted a few rounds before crying No Mas. Since he didn’t even give it the old college try, fellow members of the Metro Department’s Northwestern University Mafia – David Siders, Jennifer Torres and Christian Burkin – have asked him to no longer associate himself with their college.

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